The Next Step

So my husband and I hit a point in the marriage--months ago--that we are ready to start a family. Although we've only been married about a 1 1/2 years, we're older than perhaps the average couple. But, who knew it would be so hard to conceive? The way my mom talked growing up, conception should have happened on our honeymoon.

I hear about 18 year olds everyday, who don't want a child, gettting knocked up from having sex just once. It's pathetic and aggravating. Plus I know of a young couple who has no promising future and they keep popping out babies. Of course, they are irresponsible, ignore their crying babies,have done drugs and yet--they are blessed with children. I don't understand the logic?

On the opposite spectrum, we are not drinking, have never done drugs, are taking great care of ourselves, have saved enough to support a family and nothing. Close friends have said "not to worry" and "it'll happen." I'm glad some much older friends advised us to go to a specialist. For once, I ignored my friends and I couldn't be happier. Although it's sad I've left them in the dark about my situation.

It's been four months now of seeing a specialist to discover we do have a fertility problem. Lot's of testing involved. We're still not sure what is going on but my husband and I have to go see other specialists now. It's frustrating to say the least. To further aggravate the situation, my husband's awful HMO is costing us another precious month because he couldn't get a needed referrel. He now has to make 2 appointments just to go to one appointment. So...when the doctors do get a game plan it'll be several months later. I wouldn't care if I were in my 20s.

It really is crazy. At least in my upbringing, my sisters and I spent our early adult lives worrying that we might or could have a chance of getting pregnant so we were careful and did every measure to make sure it wouldn't happen at an early age--including abstinance. And now, it can't even happen. I sort of wish, I had not been so careful in my early twenties. Perhaps I would have one child by now. Then I wouldn't be as upset. Of course, that probably would have changed my future outcome and I might not have met my wonderful hubby. Hmph.I'm just venting.