Caught up in the past

I was reading an old magazine the other day, from November of 1996. My entire life has changed considerably since. Then, I was 24 years old working in marketing sales and my dad was still alive and just having been diagnosed with cancer. I was dating this one guy, but ended it when he wanted to spend more time with me. However, I thought he was being selfish because I wanted to spend time more with my father.

I wanted to do as much father-daughter bonding activities as I could. It typically was spent putting together a 2500 jigsaw puzzle of hot air balloons. We didn’t talk much. We just spent quality time together putting together this puzzle like missing pieces of our unknown future.

When dad got tired and went to rest I would continue on enjoying the silence of my contemplative thoughts. Part of the time I spent undoing the pieces that dad incorrectly jammed together. I didn’t have the heart to tell him they didn’t match. He noticed right away of course, and he would get upset with me telling me I ruined his pieces. I played stupid and said that, “No, I had already pieced the cluster he worked into the inerts of the puzzle.” Then he would retreat softly with an, “ok.” And, after awhile, he didn’t comment on the whereabouts of the pieces that he put together.

It was nice when it was completed--including the chewed up pieces complements of our dog’s individual contributions.

After that dad retreated to his bed, where he remained through the rest of his illness to watch television where he was most comfortable.