Always a Bridesmaid

Always a Bridesmaid and never a Bride . . .

I can still hear my dad muttering this cliche when I was in my early twenties. Lord, did he think I was so hopeless I’d never get married past 23? The thought often haunted me.

I guess I couldn’t blame him. He commented after I was asked a fourth time to be a bridesmaid in another friend’s wedding. He probably wondered why everyone else was getting married except me. I assured my father he shouldn’t worry. Maybe he was more concerned with the money I had to keep borrowing from him to pay for all the expenses of a bridesmaid’s obligation. My post college degree job paid me less than $20,000 a year which kept me still living at home.

I’ll assume he was more concerned with the money. There is the dress to buy which can run anywhere from $160 and up. Then there are other expenses of shoes, special undergarments to purchase, dress alterations, hair and makeup, a manicure and possibly pedicure, a shower to throw, shower gift, wedding gift, and bachelorette party to partake and share in the costs. Did I leave out anything? In a sense, being a bridesmaid is like having your own mini wedding. Does six mini-weddings equal one? Because if so, this is my sixth stint as a bridesmaid. I might have unknowingly experienced my own wedding . . .see Dad, it finally happened.

And don’t forget about the bride and her family’s expenses. Supposedly, an average wedding can cost an average of $20,000. Maybe that’s why everyone tells me to elope.

Now, in my 30s and still never having experienced a wedding of my own, I wonder if the brides-to-be considers the job they bestow upon their friends when they ask them to be a part of their wedding? When it’s my turn will I expect the same? I’m sure I’ll be just like every bride before me. Is it all part of the American wedding tradition or American consumerism?

Recently, a good friend asked me to be a bridesmaid for her second wedding. I never expected to be a 30 something bridesmaid. Was my father’s predication correct?

Whichever way you look at it, this April I’ll be gliding down a white carpeted area (aka vinyl) in the beautiful gardens of the Ritz Carlton to help celebrate my friend’s Spring wedding. And who knows, if I’m lucky, I’ll be the girl to catch the bride’s bouquet.